repress.

a journey far from home

has tested my bravery,

has tested my mind,

my heart,

my strength.

a journey through time

each day that passes

each day that grows

and i have lost you.

a creeping of thoughts

replay inside,

replay inside,

replay inside.

::

do i repress?

i just try to heal,

do i repress?

i just try to heal.

do i repress?

i just want to heal.

::

you haunted my dreams

the other night.

you haunted my dreams

the other night.

you haunted me.

::

can i please just pass

can i please just pass

these feelings,

these heartaches,

these things?

::

i roll in my sheets.

i roll in my sheets.

i cry in my sheets.

::

i’m far from home

and you left me,

and i left because of you —

i left because of me.

i left, but you left me.

i left.

i’m gone.

::

sometimes i’m nothing.

sometimes i’m everything.

sometimes i have no idea

why you couldn’t love me.

::

i’m magic, you know?

i’m magic, you know.

i’m me.

::

you creep in my mind,

you creep in my heart,

you creep inside my being.

and i kiss

and i hug

another being,

but they aren’t you,

you see.

::

i plea inside,

i plea inside,

i plea.

::

i don’t try to hide,

i try to hide,

i don’t understand

these things.

::

i seek within myself,

i play within myself,

i am within myself,

don’t you see?

::

i strum a tune,

it’s about you,

each time i try

something new,

but you creep back in,

it’s true,

it’s true.

i yell at myself

to forget about you,

see?

::

do i repress when i

move on,

i say i’m over it?

do i hide myself

from the truth

because i’m not over it?

::

am i coping because

i’ll just breakdown –

yes, it’s true,

i’m stronger now,

but i still miss you,

i repress somehow

but it’s how i get through

each day without you,

you and me.

::

i drive for miles.

i run for miles.

i drive for miles.

i run for miles.

i drive.

and drive.

and seek.

and i wonder

if you even

think of me.

::

and i know that you

still think of me.

::

but you’re you,

and you don’t

want me.

you don’t want me.

::

and i will never lose

myself again for love

like this,

you see.

 

 

 

 

 

.